Powell, WY
An recent outbreak of thefts has rattled and frustrated residents of Powell, WY. Multiple instances of personal property being stolen from around town have been reported to authorities and remain under investigation. Doing our part to stop these idiots, a Telegraph Strike Team was able to contact one Powell dad who had his entire CD collection taken from his vehicle. Said the man like Liam Neeson threatening his daughter's abductor in Taken,
'My children have yelled at me sixty days in a row for pouring them the wrong cereal. Sixty. And these idiots think now is a good time to steal my crap? I literally daydream about catching them and beating their teeth out.'
We do too, bro. And we can only hope the man gets his CDs back, too. No word at press time whether or not the suspects have been apprehended, although we do hope for their sake the authorities find them before a dozen or more angry residents do.
-The Telegraph
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