Like many of you, I have a complicated relationship with social media. Actually, scratch that. It’s not really all that complicated at all--I pretty much loathe the entirety of the social media landscape. I will acknowledge, however, that it sometimes proves useful in ways that old fashioned means of communication (email, texts, carrier pigeons, etc.) simply cannot. Sharing photos of your kids with family, for instance, is made much easier with a simple Facebook post. But for every decent Facebooker out there, there's AT LEAST fifty others who don't seem to understand that they're ruining it for everyone else by either being completely banal or, worse, downright insufferable. You know what I'm talking about. Fortunately there’s always the “unfollow” option, which I am wont to employ at even the slightest provocation. As a result I’ve unfollowed the vast majority of my “friends” which means that, on any given day, my timeline consists of a very small handfull of worthy posts interspersed with a sad combination of advertisements and listings on Powell Valley Exchange--which, finally, brings me to the point of this post.
Whether it’s a car/truck listing with the obligatory thumb held over the license plate--as if it's a Social Security number or something--or someone trying to sell 47 different bras that are “barely used”, you cannot deny the entertainment value of the Basin’s premier digital garage sale! So, without further ado, allow me to present the inaugural edition of “Last Month on Powell Valley Exchange” for the month of September 2019!
Fire and Ice Hoodie:
Behold this majestic creation. There is a 100% chance that this hoodie has been worn to a local County Fair, possibly on back-to-back nights. Stuff the front pockets with cans of Busch Light and START. THE. PARTY.
“Great tv, just don’t need’ reads the description for this late model Sanyo flatscreen TV, which is ironic given the giant scratch right in the center. Sounds like a description Donald Trump would use. “Huge TV. GREAT TV. Made by Sanyo, who is TERRIFIC, unlike the failing VIZIO. Not scratched at all. WORKS PERFECTLY.”
When Mother Nature eventually hits the reset button and wipes the majority of humanity from the face of the earth, exercise equipment will undoubtedly be one of the ancient relics that future archaeologists will unearth and study with great interest, marveling at the fact that while so many of these machines exist, the majority of them appear to have barely been used.
This creatively named listing featured a bevy of random & sometimes unidentifiable items, including...what the hell is this anyway? Is someone in Greybull selling a baby with a vintage leather NFL helmet on? And why did they photograph it with what appears to be a Polaroid camera?
Ever deck yourself out in sweatpants and a totally badass FIRE & ICE hoody, and head to Wal-Mart for a nice shopping trip only to look down and realize that you accidentally left the house in tasteful footwear? Me neither. Should you find yourself in that unenviable position, these Crocs will complete the look.
I can’t even make enough sense of this listing to come up with a joke about it. “Gobble gobble for sale stuffed”...? Is someone selling a turkey, maybe? Thanksgiving is still a ways out, big guy, and I will definitely NOT be asking you for photos. Seems like a good way to lose my appetite and/or be culpable for a possible crime.
------------ITEM OF THE MONTH!------------
I hesitantly zoomed in on this photo in an effort to ascertain (heh) its function. It would appear that you are supposed to strap this device to a sheep to keep its intestines from falling out of its butt. Welp, there goes my appetite. At least until Thanksgiving...