Park County, WY
These days, it seems there's always a trade with good news. Perhaps no finer example exists than Park County's initial discovery that COVID-19 was not present in early sewage samples. It basically means one of two things: as it stands, exposure in the Basin has remained low...or people with the virus do not use toilets. Lets hope it's the first option.
Here's the bad news: they did find C.H.U.D. Yep. Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers are pretty rampant in our sewers, it turns out. Baffled, a representative with the sewer task force explained the following initial steps to The Telegraph,
'Honestly, we're stumped. We do know that CHUD leave the elderly and immunocompromised alone, so at least they can finally catch a break. Plus, at least CHUD are big enough to shoot.'
Why couldn't it have been Ninja Turtles?! We just don't know. For now, we'll just take the small victory of no COVID in the sewer and rest in the fact that CHUD can be shot.
Hang in there,
The Telegraph