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Yellowstone Tourists Already Planning Which Animals to Piss Off in 2020

Park County, WY

The New Year is now upon us, and with it comes the arduous task of setting goals and plans for 2020. Maybe a new budget or exercise routine. Maybe learning an instrument or how to line dance. Maybe even planning a getaway. A getaway to the first and greatest National Park on Earth-Yellowstone.

Such is the case for thousands of future summer tourists looking to experience our national park-and irritate its wildlife. Said a previous traveler looking to step things up,

'Last year was awesome. We got hammered at Old Faithful, threw some rocks at these stupid groundhog things, and then took turns jumping off the boardwalks. Totally going to stab a Bison with an umbrella this year!'

A lofty but admirable goal! No word at press time from the Yellowstone Bison, but an insider dished to The Telegraph that the animals have also been getting creative with goring methods ahead of the 2020 season. The 'Sefie Slayer' and 'Alabaman Roundhouse' are two alleged tactics being amended during the group's first quarter planning meeting. Here's to the most entertaining tourist season, yet!

--The Telegraph

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