Pennywise to Blame for Absaroka Street Delays
Completion of the Absaroka Street Widening Project has been downright scary, and thanks to some handiwork from Telegraph reporters, we now know why. Like the novel itself, something evil has been lurking through the brand new drainage channels of Absaroka Street-and running the equipment that installed them. Yep, you guessed it: Pennywise. Not only is the physical manifestation of It's terror spooky, but Pennywise' work ethic has been pretty abysmal as of late. Dare we even suggest, detrimental to the project . Said the main crew chief guy,
'Honestly, P-dub is really bringing the group down. He's terrible on the roller, can't run a paver, and spends hours in the sewer on smoke breaks. Don't EVEN get me started on how he eats people when confronted about it...'
It's a catch-22 scenario for the contractor by which we can really empathize with: Fire Pennywise and get eaten, or continue to drag out the job. At press time, Pennywise was scheduled to meet with a performance coach to learn to leverage his strengths in the workplace: smoking and eating people. More on progress as it becomes available.