Linton's Big R Slated for Starbucks Kiosk, Changes Slogan to 'We Literally Have Everything, Now.'
Perhaps Powell's most recognizable business, Linton's Big R is broadening its services. Quipped a rather confident spokesperson for the store,
'We just aren't content with 'Almost Anything', anymore. We're ready to take this thing to the next step'
The announcement has the community buzzing,
'I seriously thought that after they [Linton's] started carrying e-cigarettes and golf clubs, we had seen it all. Boy have they outdone themselves this time!' -Actual Guy From Powell
Farm and ranch shoppers rejoice! You can now have a Venti Peppermint Mocha whilst you shop for dewormer! No word at press time whether or not the Starbucks kiosk will be staffed with genuine Seattle natives.
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*Relax, friend. This is satire and completely false.