Updated: Feb 8, 2021
During an otherwise mild 2020-2021 winter, frigid temperatures and snowfall have slapped Northwest Wyoming across the face, this week. The mainstream media would have you believe that it's some arctic air mass with barometers and whatever, but The Park County Telegraph has just confirmed that Disney phenom and Arendelle elitist, Elsa, has been at Powell's K-Bar Saloon for the past several days-drinking, swearing, and making it really cold to impress the staff. Said Elsa in slurred words,
"They just don't get it, you know. You think you could be me?! You don't even know me. I'm cold as ice, baby!"
We have yet to find a motive for Elsa's behavior, but sources near her confirm that she gets like this during tax season... and that she is growing increasingly bitter about not being able to find true love. While she usually dances in Ibiza to forget, we're just going to have to be patient- fellow princesses are en route to provide for a good cry, the nachos she's after, and a 'Steel Magnolias' marathon. Our hearts hurt, too, Elsa. Be well and stop freezing everything.