Byron, WY
Wyoming may have received an 'F' for social distancing based off some janky governmental data or whatever, but that hasn't stopped good people from doing good deeds amid Covidmania. Committed to doing their part, Byron Wyoming's own peace officer has raised the bar in the fight against the pandemic-by pulling the schmuck over for doing 31 miles per hour through the town. Said the lone wolf regarding Covid-19's little joyride,
'So all the sudden I see this Subaru Brat careening through town at a blistering thirty-one miles per hour. Sure enough, It's Coronavirus with a case of Natty Light in his lap, blaring Nickelback. I'm like, not on my watch, pal.'
Finally, some good news for a change. Sources close to the virus state that he was wearing a mask at the time he was pulled over, but only because he wanted to look like a ninja. Bond is set at a trillion dollars in toilet paper.
-The Telegraph