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Angry Wyoming Rancher Vows to Shoot Upcoming Wolf Moon

Park County, WY

The next couple of evenings lay host to a couple of different celestial phenomena: a Wolf Moon AND a Blood Moon. No one really knows what that means, but ahead of the rare event, The Telegraph was able to contact a local rancher who is fed up with all things Lupine. Said our new sharpshooting friend,

'Wolf moon, eh? Blood moon, too? I'll guarantee a blood moon, how about that?! Three and a half words on this stupid moon everyone is talking about: Shoot. Shovel. Shut up.'

Depending on the weather, the moon should be visible starting tonight. Remember all applicable Game and Fish regulations, and happy hunting. Also, you'll need silver bullets should you flush a werewolf. Everyone knows that.

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